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Fed Up of being Fed Up #1

Fed Up of being Fed Up #1

Posted on: by Hello

A blog by Sarah Fae

 

Feel for the Safety of your Own Footsteps

 

As the end of my recent mantra month #safefootsteps I wrote my experience of my 7 day water fast, it feels the right time to share this with you now. 

 

Although I can feel my feet are safely on the ground now, deep down I know a specific fear still owns my path.

 

I like my food, but I began to realise I used it to numb or distract myself away from discomfort. So in order to truly find the demon that owned my footsteps I knew needed to embrace the discomfort of not eating in order to find him. It was time to step up to the proverbial plate (or not) alone.

 

First off this is no fad, I had thought long and hard about my decision and wanted to experience this as an all round physical, spiritual and emotional cleanse. 

 

I had researched that when the body is no longer digesting it can truly go into repair mode. I have had acne, IBS and auto-immune conditions since I was a teenager. I had originally planned a juice fast but as you will find out my plans we scuppered on day 1.

 

I also wanted to ‘dig a little deeper’ spiritually and knew by not ‘numbing’ myself with food I would open new doors in my soul and spirit.

 

I don't care for numerals, I didn’t weigh myself before nor after. I specifically chose a time period when I had no external pressures on me, no work, no clients, no gym, no yoga, no events or gatherings thus making sure I was able to stay still if needed be.

 

I specifically choose Easter as although I am not "Christian" I felt very connected to the concept of sacrifice and resurrection. I also wanted to go against a time that's filled with gluttony knowing it would be all over social media. Besides, I've eaten enough sugar to last a lifetime and I felt it was time to overcome those base desires and see what new things I can experience.

 

For you science geeks I averaged about 3-4 litres of water every day…

 

Here are some extracts from my diary…

 

Day 1

My Juicer broke after I make my first batch of Juice, not a great start. I went online to research water fast and the time was 11.11.   I took this as a sign, 11.11 is kind of something that follows me around it's a wink from the universe. 

The day is tough as you realise how much you have a routine round food, I feel sad, spaced out, irritated, like I have lost my spark and have a slight headache. I get 1 hunger pain at 5pm and eye up sugary treats in a cafe, I buy water and wonder what the hell I'm doing. I feel disconnected from life and really lost.

 

I do an enema tonight, oh joy. It helps clear the colon and makes the initial detox less intense (so they tell me)

 

Day 2

Woke up with hunger pains, slight headache, nauseous it takes me 2 hours from waking up to summon the courage to get out of bed. I run a bath and get a few flashbacks of past painful experiences. I start to feel like I will vomit. I hug the toilet to no avail and really cry.

 

I decide to go to Newcastle and be about others, still feeling waves of sickness. I finally puke orange liquid twice outside St James Park in broad daylight with people passing by, feels liberating. I immediately feel better.  I walk through Newcastle holdings my solar plexus, sunglasses on, scarf wrapped around my neck, guarded yet appreciating everyone around me. I wander, but no longer feel lost.

 

I approached by a homeless man who says " I haven't eaten in 2 days will you buy me lunch" I smile, can't help feel energetically my going without created space to give. This is a simple lesson I carry all week, more space in me means more space to give. I buy him the full works from Greggs.  He doesn't say thank you.

 

Start to feel increased energy and love, high almost. I surprise visit my recently widowed Nana and she is crying I spend 3 hours holding her.

 

During the course of the day I have had 8 large shifts in my lower back, lots of clicks and pops! All feels positive, except for the enema I have to give myself later that night again, ick.

 

Day 3

Woke up groggy as per usual but empowered by knowing I have found my ownership demons soul on the astral and begin to stalk him. Although he disappears and reappears I know this is the start of me handing back the fear that makes me not feel safe in my footsteps.

 

I miss the ceremony of food and the community aspect of it, for example an ice cream in the sunshine in Jesmond Dene on Good Friday would have been a nice celebration.

 

I crave melon.

 

Day 4

Woke up to mild hunger pain. I dream about giant headed aliens, ancient wars in Iraq and pyramids with the all seeing eye.

 

Lovely day sharing my fast stories in a Easter special of my radio show and my heart is swelling so much whilst I share uplifting music and stories with my audience. Since I have created this space inside me I have so much space for others. My hearts bigger, my ears are wider and my attention intentional. Feel so connected to others in a peaceful compassionate way.

 

Had a real active day, even went to a party ( I had to leave when the chilli came out of the oven)

 

Day 5

Easter Sunday - #rebirth

Real restorative day on the couch watching alot of Oprah! I am invited to a Easter service at LGT Church in Newcastle I go and enjoy connecting in the space and singing. A few times my heart swells with absolute overwhelming love again.

 

Today I have many physical symptoms, first of all I come on my period (I have very irregular periods and hormone issues) I have a horrific taste in my mouth and to top it off my old BCG injection wound hurts like it did the day it was done. 

Feel quite weak.

 

Day 6

Wake up really sore around my BCG wound my whole arm aches. Skin’s noticeably 60% less inflamed and clearer. I dreamed last night I ate 3 haribos, so glad to wake up m know it was just a dream. Also dreamt I climb Scarfell Pike and did standing pigeon on the top. I see this as a renewed balance of being both in the clouds but still maintaining my connection to my feet in line with my mantra #safefootsteps.

 

Still freezing, have been all week. I realise I enjoy brushing my teeth, your mouth misses the sensation of chewing and having something to do!! Brushing your teeth is something to look forward too!

 

Later that day I talk an officer out of giving me a parking ticket, called him an angel and then sat down next to a white feather.  Feels like a universal wink and I do feel very looked after spiritually this week #1111.

 

Day 7

Woke up by alarm for work and get out of bed too quickly, black out momentarily and come too head on the wall. Slight bump. Realise when I get to work I must get out of my bubble and end my fast. I have zero energy to take care of my class in the way they deserve. I break the fast exactly a week on with a small box of melon, in my heart I know I should go on but real life calls.

 

Later that evening, I go to yoga.   Practice isn't as tough as I had thought it would be, I seem to be running on spiritual energy. I do a wheel walk over at the wall unaided much to my surprise.  First time.

 

 

 

 

My Reflections

 

Over the week I feel my heart has seen the biggest change as on a daily basis I found myself grabbing it as it aches and swells with pure love, compassion, gratitude and connection.  

 

As for my skin well its 70% clearer!! Even scars old acne scars have faded.

 

I am sure I will experience so many more changes too in the next few weeks as my body, mind and soul adjusts to this spring clean. I plan to eat very clean and simply over the next few weeks and flush my liver also.

 

People keep saying I’m looking really well, did I go away over Easter? Can’t help but smile and feel grateful for the cliché that is the” inner journey.”

 

Thank you for letting me share #safefootsteps

 

Fae x

 

DISCLAIMER - JY recomends careful consideration if undertaking any sort of fast -  please consult with our in house nutritialist Manos. 

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